Many of us have been in either seat of a difficult conversation - delivering it or receiving it, and no doubt with a range of experiences. Done well, these conversations can provide valuable constructive feedback which can lead to personal growth and a more open and trusting relationship between both parties. But when they go wrong, it can be catastrophic.

What Makes Conversations Hard to Have?
Conversations are difficult when we’re not sure how the other person will respond, and especially if we are concerned that they will feel offended by what we have to say. The risks are higher if we think they’ll misunderstand our message or if it will have an unintended consequence, such as demotivating a subordinate, negatively impacting a relationship with a colleague, or affecting a client relationship. Getting it wrong can erode credibility and trust, making it especially high risk for people who work closely together and where maintaining a good relationship is essential.
But avoiding these conversations is not the answer. We need to be able to have conversations that provide opportunities for people to learn and grow, whilst also maintaining or developing the relationship we hold with them already. In addition, we should be open to receiving such conversations ourselves, as they are crucial for our own professional development. Thoughtful constructive feedback not only provides personal growth, but also enhances team dynamics, and builds a culture of trust and inclusivity within the workplace – as well as in our client interactions.
Defining Effective Feedback
Understanding what ‘effective feedback’ looks like helps us lay the groundwork to achieve the outcome we are looking for. In my workshops, participants often highlight these key elements of effective feedback:
Clarity: The message should be clear, focused, and actionable.
Specificity: Focus on facts and behaviours, not assumptions.
Empathy: Approach the conversation with the other person’s growth in mind.
Impact: Clearly explain why the feedback and suggestions for change are significant for both yourself and the other person
Preparation is Key
It’s important to invest time and thought into preparing for important conversations to show respect for the person you’re approaching and your relationship with them, to reduce any nerves and to increase the likelihood of a successful outcome.
Define Your Intention
Ensure your goal is constructive and focused on the other person’s growth and development.
Plan Your Message
Be clear about what you want to say. Stick to facts and specifics rather than assumptions. As soon as we start making assumptions about another person’s behaviour, we stray into judgement, which can quickly close down communication.
Choose the Right Environment
Consider the right place for this conversation to take place, choosing an environment that will feel private, supportive and comfortable. Choosing a neutral venue can be helpful to remove subconscious power structures.
Focus on the Present
Provide feedback in a timely manner. Don’t wait until an annual review to acknowledge great work or address an issue—make feedback part of everyday conversations.
Manage Your Emotions
Approach the conversation with a calm and composed tone. Avoid letting emotions like frustration overtake the message you want to share. Preparation is key to feeling calm.
An essential aspect of mastering the art of constructive feedback is having the opportunity to prepare and practice in a safe environment, so you are well-equipped when the time comes to deliver it. Engaging with a mentor or trusted colleague is an excellent way to refine your approach. Additionally, training workshops and professional coaching sessions are invaluable for preparing for difficult conversations and developing a feedback culture within your team.
Building a Feedback Culture
An organisation’s culture is shaped by the conversations people have - and the ones they avoid.
When feedback becomes a regular part of workplace interactions, it leads to a more inclusive and high-performing culture. This shared understanding of feedback empowers teams to:
Communicate openly and constructively
Build collaboration across diverse perspectives
Address issues before they escalate
This cultural shift doesn’t just help teams, it can transform organisations. Many leaders tell me these workshops have helped build a culture of trust and inclusivity.
Authenticity Matters
The most impactful feedback is authentic and genuine. Skip the “compliment sandwich” and focus on what truly matters.
In workplaces with a strong feedback culture, team members are already in the habit of celebrating wins and identifying opportunities for growth because positive feedback happens regularly. When constructive feedback is needed, it feels natural—not forced.
Key Takeaway
Tough conversations are an opportunity for transformation - both for individuals and organisations. By developing a feedback culture built on trust, clarity, and authenticity, you’ll create a stronger, more connected team.
If you’d like to invest in the tools and training to build for effective feedback for yourself or your team, get in touch with me today. I’d love to help.